In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to bring light to true love.

There is a common misconception that in the search for true love one must go out into the world to find the perfect mate who will give them everything they’ve always hoped for and more.

The truth is, true love happens only after you’ve turned your focus within.  Everything you may be searching for in the perfect mate can be found buried deep within the confines of your own heart and soul.

Not until we take the time to focus on loving, healing, and constantly tending to ourselves on the inside, will we be able to attract the amazing and blissful experiences that we desire in our lives.  I say constantly tending to because it’s important to keep working on yourself.  I used to think, “Oh I did this one self-love exercise, so I must be healed now!” No, it takes much more than one exercise.  It must be a lifestyle of self-love, self-honor, and self-respect.  You teach other people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself.

I feel so strongly about this concept because so many times people look for others to love them, care for them, and be there for them.  Learn to be there for yourself first.  You must give yourself what you need – that is your own time and attention – before anyone else can properly love or show up for you in your life.  This is why I have made it my priority to focus on myself and my own inner work, healing, and relationship with God to ensure that I get the desires of my heart.

A more extensive breakdown of this concept is best delivered by Gabrielle Bernstein, motivational speaker and author of, “Add More ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness”.  Her definition of “ing” is Inner Guidance.

The following is a clip from her latest iLoveMe Lecture and it speaks powerfully to what our focus should be and the truth about healthy relationships.  The beginning of the video may seem a tad off topic, but everything comes together beautifully in the end.

Share your thoughts in the comments: What steps can you take this Valentine’s Day to ensure there is more self-love in your life?  What are your favorite ways to show yourself love?

Peace, Love, & SELF-Love,


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